How I learnt not to fear pressure...
I always had a strange relationship with being pressured. I felt pressured by my parents, my boyfriends, my peers and society in general. All this generally resulted in feeling of shame and guilt. And not just easy to forget guilt... We are talking to the point of depression, abuse and panic attack feeling bad. Yeah not so bright and shiny. So fighting pressure lets say consumed a lot of my everyday life at many points of my life. It seemed like every time I had a significant relationship the pressure was building up until it broke at some point and then I was just letting off steam for a while before this process repeated itself. I remember quoting that all i ever wanted was love and freedom but it seemed like whenever i got one the other was canceled off. I remember also quoting the ending from the movie The labyrinth... Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city. For my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom is as great...you have no power over me. That was my power message and my favorite movie almost prophetically as a kid... I kept coming back to that message each time through the cycle. [Ending of the movie---https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmgmXgoBZFo ]This seemed like every relationship I had. Just let me rule you and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me ,love me do as i say and i will be your slave...You have no power over me. And nobody did it just took me a while to get it. I wont go into all of the details of how i tried to realize this in my life and how i still am trying.
So all this this passing though the labyrinth led me to what Arjan told me and i finally agreed. He said you must learn to pressure yourself from time to time to get what you want or else others will try to do it for you when it suits them.
Like freedom (ill return to this another time) its not so much the pressure we put on ourselves but the pressure from others that we fear. Maybe all this fearing pressure is not all its planed out to be. Still once bitten and twice shy...
"you must learn to pressure yourself from time to time to get what you want or else others will try to do it for you when it suits them"
I always had a strange relationship with being pressured. I felt pressured by my parents, my boyfriends, my peers and society in general. All this generally resulted in feeling of shame and guilt. And not just easy to forget guilt... We are talking to the point of depression, abuse and panic attack feeling bad. Yeah not so bright and shiny. So fighting pressure lets say consumed a lot of my everyday life at many points of my life. It seemed like every time I had a significant relationship the pressure was building up until it broke at some point and then I was just letting off steam for a while before this process repeated itself. I remember quoting that all i ever wanted was love and freedom but it seemed like whenever i got one the other was canceled off. I remember also quoting the ending from the movie The labyrinth... Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city. For my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom is as great...you have no power over me. That was my power message and my favorite movie almost prophetically as a kid... I kept coming back to that message each time through the cycle. [Ending of the movie---https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmgmXgoBZFo ]This seemed like every relationship I had. Just let me rule you and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me ,love me do as i say and i will be your slave...You have no power over me. And nobody did it just took me a while to get it. I wont go into all of the details of how i tried to realize this in my life and how i still am trying.
So all this this passing though the labyrinth led me to what Arjan told me and i finally agreed. He said you must learn to pressure yourself from time to time to get what you want or else others will try to do it for you when it suits them.
Like freedom (ill return to this another time) its not so much the pressure we put on ourselves but the pressure from others that we fear. Maybe all this fearing pressure is not all its planed out to be. Still once bitten and twice shy...
"you must learn to pressure yourself from time to time to get what you want or else others will try to do it for you when it suits them"
